Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure...

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Being an adult...

Dear My Blog Reader,

It is a long time after which I am posting something on my blog. I thank you for being patient with me.
I had written this piece on 25th April, 2007, while relaxing on the parapet of the roof of my house at around 3 at night. The philosophies and ideals I had till that night have not changed a bit and so, I thought that it would be nice to share them with you.



Before turning eighteen I often wondered why an age limit of eighteen had been set to distinguish between a child and an adult. I confess that I have not found an answer yet. I have always believed that whether a person is adult or not is decided by the level of understanding his or her brain has attained. A wise man had once told me that there are three types of boys in this world—‘under matured’, ‘perfectly matured’ and ‘over matured’. These terms had been coined by him. I understood what he meant by ‘under’ and perfectly’ matured, but I failed to grasp the meaning of ‘over matured’.

Doesn’t the term ‘over matured’ carry a hint of derision? Does it mean that a person should not attain a certain level of understanding capability before reaching a specified age? Doesn’t this remark of his imply that he feels insecure because he cannot match the youngsters with thoughts having frequencies much higher than his? This is not about a single wise man, this is about hundreds of other wise people around us who never seem to come to terms with the fact that the little boy is now an adult and that he has a thinking process that might be radically different from theirs.

We live in a highly conservative society (especially, the so called middle class society); even though we may call ourselves XYZ generation, deep within ourselves, the ancient black hole continues to pull us back. We call that black hole ‘culture’ to hide its grotesque and destructive nature. I would like to ask all those liberal people (parents and children included) who contradict me, why do they feel ashamed to discuss sexuality? It is not as if the young generation will not be drawn towards exploring the individual sexuality. Why, then, do they not explain every bit of this unknown quantity to their children and why do even the young genext feel ashamed of asking questions?

We shout our throats hoarse about equality of women and men. How can they be called equal to men if both sexes do not get equal opportunities? Why, again, are most women married off as soon as they reach a marriageable age? Why do the women accept such outrageous decision? Do they not have any dreams and ambition which they kill off to admit themselves docilely to some screwed vision of few people? We are indeed living in a black hole where a father announces that if ever his daughter runs away from home she will be welcomed with a gun, if she ever comes back, where a father does not hesitate to rape his daughter; where a death sentence is brought down to a level of public entertainment; where street dogs eat little babies, lying helplessly on the roadsides with no one coming to save them; where it is a crime to fall in love but it is normal to urinate in front of everyone.

It is not just about sex and marriage and oppression of women, it is about transformation. And this black hole which we live in, does not allow this transformation to occur. A person, who has turned eighteen, is expected to have gone through a series of mental developments and is ready to venture in to the final stage of transformation of mind. He or she is expected to be capable of handling all the responsibilities that an adult can handle. This transformation must result in the building of character by which the child metamorphoses into an adult and becomes self reliant and self decisive and responsible for him/herself and those around him/her.

Being an adult does not only mean that the person is eligible for voting, having a driver’s licence or watching ‘A’ rated movies. It means that it is time for the parents to step aside from being the rule makers to an advisory role. It is time to start analyzing what you like or dislike, what is right or wrong, to create your own beliefs, to discard all the unnecessary compulsions which stop us from being who we really are. This is the time when the already matured soul becomes truly independent.

One thing that is commonly, and not wrongly, associated with adulthood is career. It is high time to form a clear picture of what you want to become in life and remain inflexible on your decision. Remember that it is your life and only you have the right to decide what you want to make of it. Most people, whom I have met, are absolutely clueless about their goals. These sorts of people end up becoming wrong person at the wrong place. Being adult means that it is time to get off the merry-go-round and take firm steps towards your desired destination.

This is the time when you should take TOTAL CONTROL of your life. I used the word control, not anarchy. Staying out late at night to enjoy the perks of ‘adulthood’ is utter nonsense and ‘unadultish’. Being an adult means that you become responsible—responsible for yourself and for the few people you care about. Unfortunately, this transformation is hard to achieve and most people fail to achieve it. They eternally remain children. They may drink bear, smoke Havana cigars, drive race cars and have a lucrative job but they are no better than children lost without their parents.

Taking control of one’s life is to start understanding the meaning of freedom. Freedom—it is the most important thing that a person can achieve in his/her life. It is the quest to understand the soul and how it is related to the body. It is freedom of mind that has to be achieved. It is the state where we can proclaim loudly and confidently, “Even though I was born in this prison with my hands and legs bound by iron shackles, my soul flew freely over the mountains and clouds and seas and forests. I saw everything, I learned everything, I peeked into the human soul and understood the purpose of its existence… and even now, as my body dies in these shackles, I can say freely that I was never a slave…”

2 comments:

Sriranjani Datta said...

To talk of sex, echoing your opinion, I too think it’s as normal a phenomenon in the normal life-style as eating or sleeping is and that, as most of our friends and fellowmen misinterpret, it is not a subject to be talked in hush-hush nor should it be linked with dirty jokes. For me, it’s the ultimatum of love. It’s a beautiful phenomenon which is attained when two souls are intertwined so much so that our bodies take part in the union. It’s perhaps the most wonderful creation of the almighty. It aggrieves me when my friends joke about it in the wrong way or people regard it as a sin. As is aptly described in the Bengali novel ‘Na Hanyate’, by Maitreyi Devi, sex takes man nearer to spiritualism and I agree with it. I don’t know why people see it as a misdeed but it’s the most heavenly thing happening on earth (when obviously love precedes it and no mischief is intended). I would say it’s not a matter of discussion at all and neither do I support parents discussing sex with their children, except for the prevention of AIDS or deter their young daughters from conceiving. It’s a deep emotion whose piety is preserved best in silence.
Regards,
Sriranjani

Shubhabrata said...

Sriranjani,

I understand that sex is something divine. You understand it and so does a few of us who care to refine our natures and instincts. But you have quite rightly pointed out that a lot of our 'peers' amuse themselves by just making a farce out of that word. Shouldn't they be guided? Shouldn't they be taught to respect that which is beautiful? Beauty is divine, don't you think? And who can do that better, if not their parents. I did not require my parent's help in this matter because I like to walk slow and take some time out to read and listen. But what about those who are too busy for such things? Shouldn't they be told, and shouldn't this moulding be done when the earth is wet? Who else can do that, if not their parents?